The Personal Confession of Kaila Prins: The Journey of An Amazing Woman from a Meat Eater to Vegan and What Made Her Go Back to Eating Meat Again?

kaila-prins

Today I have a really interesting interview for you, that I’ve been wanting for a long time, but it was just now that I dared to ask.  It is with a beautiful woman, who has walked the path from a meat eater, through a vegetarian, to a vegan and then she went back to eating meat. In her “personal confession” you will get a chance to read what made her transition through all the diet styles mentioned above, how each one of them reflected on her health and performance, as well as what made her go back to eating meat again. You will get a chance to read what is the most valuable lesson she learned, from all the trial and errors she made.

Today, I will introduce you to Kaila Prins, who is one of the most intelligent and dedicated people I’ve ever had the chance to meet. Even though I “talked” to her just on the internet, I feel as if my life is more meaningful and as if I’ve met the smartest, wisest person. Enjoy what she had to share with us.

Ines Subashka: Introduce yourself.

Kaila Prins: My name is Kaila Prins, although I’m known around the internet as @MissSkinnyGenes. I currently blog about health, fitness, and eating disorder recovery at inmyskinnygenes.com, and I run a podcast called “Finding Our Hunger,” on which we interview people who are finding out where they want their journeys to take them–toward better body image, a fulfilling career, and everything in between.

I am also a recovering anorectic. I have struggled with exercise addiction and food addictions for over 13 years, and now that I’m in recovery, I’m devoting my life to helping others find their way out from under the control of disordered eating and exercise. I am currently becoming a certified health coach through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

IS: Do you lift weights? How has weight training changed your life?

 KP: I [Read more...]

When The Soul Is Starving, The Body Is Overeating!

Ines Subashka

I loooooooove doing handstands! :)

It happens again. The emotions are taking over you. As if a storm is raging in your heart! You are trying to repress them, to hold them, to dull them You don’t want to feel, you don’t want your heart and soul to be rend by memories, disappointments, fears and dissatisfaction. You feel weak and helpless, but you don’t want the world to see you falling apart. You are afraid to share with others, to tell them that inside you are broken and that is why you bear! You stay silent and you pile up the pain. But in moments like this, the suffering is way too much and you feel incapable of controlling it!

And there you go, you reach out for food again. You hope that the escape from yourself will [Read more...]

Do You Struggle with Emotional Eating? Check Out How I Managed to Quit on It and Try It Yourself!

Ines Subashka

It happens again… the weight of the day is about to crush you. The night is here and you are alone with the silence. Your confusing thoughts are fighting for predominance. The pain is trying to conquer you and take control over your actions and thoughts. A moment of desperation, which you’d love to overcome, but some how you feel helpless and weak.

The reality seems so hard to bear, that you need to find an escape, immediately. Some kind of comfort. And you open the fridge! And an hour later you’ve eaten massive amount of food. The reality is back again, but this time it is even more unbearable and suffocating. This time, besides the disappointments, the day had to offer, You disappointed yourself!

You had promised yourself that you will never reach out to food for comfort and you just did it again!

As I shared here “My Personal Confession: Emotional Eating and The Hunger of My Soul”, I’ve also been the main character [Read more...]

The Real Reason You Can’t Stcik to Healthy Eating!

Image source:http://www.health.com

This week emotional eating is once again on my mind, but not because I am back to filling my emotional emptiness with food, but because I met a person, who really reminds me of myself in the past- the past where I buried my emotions under piles of food.

This person made me think why we, people find it so hard to start eating healthy. You know what I am talking about. Every night you go to bed determined to start eating clean tomorrow and have a healthier lifestyle. Then, you wake up in the morning filled with enthusiasm, but as the day goes by, your daily tasks take over your life and everything is as it was yesterday. Seems as if you never find the strength to change your eating habits and your lifestyle.

Why does it happen like that? [Read more...]

Do You Care What Other People Think About You? Here Is What I’d Think of You, When We Meet!

The little machine :)

Daily I have the pleasure of meeting a lot of different people, who are really motivated to change their lifestyle and improve the quality of their life! Besides the experience I get, when it comes to workouts and nutrition, I am constantly analyzing people’s behavior. The human mind is something that has always been an enigma for me and I am always interested in what and why is happening in the mind of the person against me!

Lately, I notice that people often talk about themselves with some kind of negativity and self- hatred! I can’t even describe you how many times a day, I will hear “ I am awful at this”; “ I can’t do this”; “I look fat’; “I look disgusting”; “I am so out of shape”;” I am sorry, probably you aren’t used to train with people that are so out of shape”; “ I am doing worse than I expected”.

There is nothing wrong with a person who is being critical towards himself, but still everything has some limits and the critic should be constructive. And lately I notice that you could rarely meet somebody who loves himself. And by saying “love yourself”, I am far from the thought of an egocentric person, who thinks the world revolves around him!

When somebody walks in the gym, I don’t see him according to what he is at the moment, but according to what he has the potential to become!

When a 40 year old man, walks in the gym, I do not see a person who is out of shape, somebody who neglected his health and body and somebody who has absolutely no physical culture.

Instead, what I see is a person, who no matter his busy schedule, no matter the excuses he might make up, no matter the widely spread notions, found the motivation to change. He found the courage to show determination and do something for himself!

When an overweight girl, [Read more...]

My Personal Confession: The Hunger of My Soul and Emotional Eating

Today I try to smile even when I am upside down! :)

Let me ask you a question! Do you love yourself and do you accept the person you are( with your mistakes, hard moments you went through; the moments when you were disappointed with yourself and those that you were proud of your achievements)?

I have to confess you something! I didn’t always love myself! There was a moment in my life when it was even hard to stand myself. After the disappointments I had with basketball, I spent a couple years of self- pity and self- destruction. I was constantly thinking about the past. I didn’t wanna leave it and I used to never be in the present moment. In life’s stages like that , people tend to approach different “methods” to cope with pain and sadness- mine was emotional, binge eating. Yes, I said it! It is not just you! I’ve also done it, more than you could ever imagine.

The moments when pain is tearing your heart, and you seek for relief. The moments when guilt is [Read more...]

How to Help People Suffering From Eating Disorders

Image source: http://www.firstnews.co.uk

I was reading this post called “5 Reasons Bulimia Is a Bad Idea”  on Leigh Peele’s website, when I encountered this comment:

“I can speak from personal experiance on the lack of knowledge treatment facilities have. I was dealing with this issue for over 3 years and everyone told me to learn to accept my body but what I needed to do was learn to accept the correct way to use nutrition. That was never discussed. Thankfully through people like you and others I have learned what food does and does not do for the body and weight loss. That did more for me than therapy every did.”

That made me think about bulimia, anorexia and eating disorders as a whole. You know that in my family there were two people suffering from anorexia, so [Read more...]

Scale! Scale! Scale! Your Worst Advisor!

Image source: http://un-catchable.blogspot.com/2011/01/grrr.html

It’s morning. It is hot outside. You open your wardrobe and reach to take your summer clothes, but suddenly you feel like you forgot something- to weigh yourself on the scale. Did you forget that the scale, THIS OBJECT is your best friend and best advisor about the way you look? The scale is the one that “tells” you if you are beautiful, successful and worthy.

…you leave the door of your wardrobe open and go to check what the scale “thinks” about you today. There you are, 500 grams heavier than yesterday. In just a few seconds the good mood and happiness you had before that is displaced by sad and depressive thoughts. Seems like your self-esteem lowered in seconds. One moment you were feeling happy and energetic to face the new day, and suddenly darkness takes over your soul. And why is that? Because of a number on the scale!

If there is a woman who [Read more...]

Interview with Sohee Lee: Part 2

Sohee Lee

This week you will have the opportunity to read Part 2 of Sohee Lee’s great interview. In case you missed Part 1, you can read it here.

IS: We know that for a person who struggled with eating disorder it is hard to go in the gym and lift weights. There is always that fear that you might get bulky! How did you manage to cope with that prejudice? What would you tell women that are afraid of weights due to that reason?

SL: Interestingly [Read more...]

Are You Making This Mistake Which Is Hindering Your Weight Loss Progress?

 

Image source: http://www.scientificamerican.com

Do you often struggle staying on track with your diet? Are you one of those people that try so hard to get everything right, but never manage to achieve your goal about a lean and sexy body? What is it that is stopping your progress? Probably you are cursed to be overweight? Wrong! That is impossible! The problem is YOU! The problem is in your head and your thoughts!

I almost can’t think of a woman who doesn’t struggle or at least struggled with a disordered eating! More often than not what hinders progress are [Read more...]

Is Strong Really the New Skinny?

Image source: http://practicalpaleolithic.com

Lately some of my American friends are writing about the “Strong is the new skinny” movement. You can read Eileen’s post here and Liz’s post from Cave Girl Eats here. I love what Marsha and Adam the founders of “Strong is the new skinny” have done for women all around the world, but I still want to share my opinion about the way I see, feel and understand that.

Skinny is something I never wanna be, feel, associate with and aim for! Strong is [Read more...]

Do You Want to Be Fit? Here Is How I Can Help You Achieve It!

Инес Субашка

Инес Субашка

I can’t make you lean!

The only thing I can do is give you the nutrition tips. But it is all up to you!

It is up to you, if you can show some will and discipline and eat the food that fuels your body, not your emotions!

I can’t make you strong!

The only thing I can do [Read more...]

Gailna Gegenava:The Beautiful Lady Who Went From Anorexia and Bulimia to Fit and Healthy

 

Galina Gegenava

It is said that humans are the supreme form of life on Earth. Then what is capable of destroying the human race if not the human himself? Today’s story is an example how the demons in our own mind can overtake our body and our entire life, take us on a journey, where we will have to face the scariest-our own self, own solitude and hopelessness…a  journey, where few people manage to survive but everybody has the chance to do it as long as he believes in himself and the unlimited possibilities of the human mind!

Today the interview is with Gailna Gegenava. A woman, who went through the terrible consequences, caused by her destructive thoughts and negative perception of her body. Today Galina looks amazing- her body “says” that she is healthy,fit and strong. Her body shows she has control over her thoughts and her life. But her life wasn’t always that way! For years Gailna struggled with eating disorders, then gained weight to become overweight, until she found the right path, that took her to the place where she stands today-happy and beautiful!

Ines Subashka: How and when did everything start? [Read more...]

What Does The Scale Tell You About Yourself?

Image source: facebook.com

I am a member of the facebook group Eat Clean (no crap!). Train Smart. Stay Awesome. Forever. , created by Eileen Schreiber. A couple days ago somebody posted something about a challenge called “I’m too awesome to weigh myself this month”. That made me think about myself and the scale. I haven’t  stepped on a scale in almost two years. And that is a big thing, keeping in mind that I was addicted to it. Yes, you guessed it! I used to be just like every other woman- I measured myself and my attractiveness by the number on the scale. Then I found crossfit and my life will never be the same. I made a commitment to throw the scale away and stop living for the number it shows.

I find the challenge mentioned above to be really cool and helpful. That made me think about why I don’t care about the scale anymore.

Truth is that the scale [Read more...]

When Was The Last Time You Did Some Of These Things For Yourself?

When was the last time somebody told you they loved, because of who you are?

When was the last time somebody, told you, you were sexy and attractive, no matter if you wear size zero or size 10?

When was the last time somebody appreciated what you have achieved?

When was the last time somebody, stayed beside you, even though [Read more...]

22 Things Worth Reading

Image source:https://www.facebook.com/livestronglivelean

Over the past three months, I’ve written close to a hundred articles. Today I decided to pick some of the best articles and put them together in one! Below you will see the name of the article and a short summary! If you want to read the whole article just click on its title!

1. You can’t fix a body you hate

Truth is that you can’t fix a body you hate! True beauty comes from loving yourself! When you feed your mind with negativity and self-hate, you are interfering with your progress!Your problem is hidden somewhere deeper. It might be your insecurity! Your denial to change your mindset,the denial to face your fears or chase your dreams,addressing it towards changing your body!

2. Workouts for people working in an office

Probably your work involves a lot of sitting? You feel sick, everything hurts and you would like to workout, but you think that you do not have time? See how you could be more active wherever you are!

3. 5 reasons why beautiful women lift weights

Are you a slave to the common knowledge that women aren’t supposed to lift weights? Do you think that workouts like this will make you look bulky or look like a man? See why you are wrong and how weights could help you!

4. The mirror in your head…the skeleton in your closet

If you are a person who is so lost in the higly demanding world, in all the information and expectations that are poured on us daily, that you pretty much twist your image, what you truely are, and consider yourself never good enough or beautiful enough, then read this article and quit destroying yourself, striving for perfection!

5. Squats: Why it is a MUST to do them and how to perform them properly!

Are squats part of your workout? If not, then this article is for you! Read it and see what you are missing!

6. You are more than a number

How often do you compare your attractiveness to the number on the scale? How often do you let that useless number to make you feel down and lower your self esteem?  See why it is about time o throw the scale and put the pressure behind!

7. 10 habits, fit people have

Do you wonder how some people manage to be fit? You are dying to have a body like theirs, but somehow you never get there? See how your habits, defer from the habits fit people have!

8. I used to be…

I used to long for the pounds on the scale to decrease, now I long for the pounds on the bar to increase! I used to…

9.The best advice I ever received

Did you ever get a single advice that changed your life? Check out what was the advice, that changed my view of life and people!

10.Kettlebell swing:the priceless exercise

Did you ever wonder if there is a single exercise that you could do, and get the most out of it? See what is one of the best exercises you could do, but you are still not including in your workouts!

11. Calcium and how am I still alive if I don’t consume dairy

Do you think that dairy products are the best resource of calcium? Do you think that calcium is the key to good health? See why you are wrong and what you could do to improve your health!

12. Don’t identify yourself with your work

What is hidden behind attachment? Too much love or a big dose of fear? How your habit to attach to people and situations in your life is just harming you!

13.Grains- why are they slowly killing you

Do you think that grains are healthy; that they are a must in everybody’s diet? What  if the food you call healthy is actually killing you?

14. A couple things you should see before start working out

If you are a person who doesn’t believe in words, see the visual version of how you could look depending on the choice you make in the gym and in the kitchen!

15. The chicken legs syndrome

What is your workout like? Do you neglect your legs? Then you are probably suffering from the chicken legs syndrome! Check out what it is and how you could cure it!

16.Eggs and cholesterol- who is the bad guy?

Are you afraid of eating more than two eggs a week? Are you a slave to the myth that eggs will lead to high cholesterol? Read this article and see eggs in a whole new perspective!

17. How you could always find time for workout

How often do you make excuses for skipping workouts? Probably you do not have enough time? Read how you could always fit a workout in your busy schedule!

18. 5 reasons why you are not eating healthy

You want to eat healthy, but you kind of never manage to do it? Read what hides behind your failure in healthy eating!

19. How often do you feel part of something bigger than yourself

When was the last time your heart filled with happiness and pride, not because of your own accomplishments, but because of the accomplishment of somebody else?

20. Don’t have time to workout? Try Tabata!

You don’t have time to workout but you still wanna be fit? Check out how!

21. How to reject food politely

How often do you feel guilty for rejecting food? How often do you step off your healthy diet , just because you do not wanna offend anybody? Check out how you could change that!

22. I workout because…

I do overhead squats, so when life is giving me a hard time, I can hold on to the pressure for one more day, a week or a month. I do…

Feel fat? Let’s find out why!

Love yourself

A couple weeks ago I wrote the article “You are more than a number”, when a reader wrote me, accusing me that I am encouraging women to stay obese. Tell you the truth I am far from the idea of convincing somebody to be fat or obese. Actually I am more about balance and being fit and functional. The reason I often write about body image issues, is that I have a personal story with a family member that suffered an eating disorder and the story led to death, and another one that luckily had a happy ending! Besides that I notice that body image issues are getting more publicity due to the rising frequency of girls suffering from them!

Probably 9 out of 10 girls, are concerned about the way they look. How often do you hear the statement “ I feel fat”? I hear it on a daily basis! What bothers me is that fat can’t be a feeling! Fat is an adjective! It can’t describe your inner-self and how much you are worth!

What I’d like to point out is that I encourage even women that are obese, to first start loving themselves and then deal with the weight issues. Because more often than not you have to lose your problems to lose your weight not vice versa! Most women that are currently obese have something in their past that makes them feel miserable, that makes them feel bad about themselves, makes them feel insecure. Due to the incapacity of dealing with that problem, they drown their negative emotions in food feasts, thinking that food will make them happier!

Sometimes people get lost in their desire to look good, and can’t separate their true feelings from their body image! That right there is the moment when  they transform their negative feelings into negative attitudes about their body. The bad body image days are indicators that you are feeling lonely, stressed, anxious and etc. When the thought about your bad look starts creeping in your mind, that is a sign that you have  a problem hidden on the inside! There is something that is torturing you, something that makes you feel unworthy! It turns into a vicious cycle, where these emotions, plant the seed of self-hatred, you feel weak and can’t deal with them, then it is easier to turn to food as your savior. Thus you either stuff yourself or starve yourself to death! Either way, you are just destroying yourself!

Instead of keeping your body in the prison of your negative thoughts, it would be much easier to deal with the problems instead of avoiding them! Learn to respect your strength and don’t give in to your weakness! No matter how useless you think you are, you are probably wrong! There is always something you could do, somebody you could help! Don’t rob other people’s lives from your presence! Start believing in yourself beyond your size, beyond your weight, beyond the calories you eat!

I reccomend you to watch the video!

Happy Thanksgiving Day to all Americans!

It’s not about what you are eating! It’s about what’s eating you inside!

Binge eating disorder

I’ve written before about eating disorders, I will write today and I will write in the future. Even if we realize it or not eating disorders are one of the most torturing diseases out there and the percentage of girls and boys suffering from them is growing everyday. While my main focus so far were bulimia and anorexia, today I will write about binge eating. It is the most common disorder even if most of us that have it do not admit it being a problem.
Binge eating is not the case when you ate a little more of your grandma’s apple pie; not the case when you overeat during the holidays! Binge eaters tend to eat massive amounts of food, quickly on a common basis. They don’t stop when they feel full. They also tend to eat many foods in bizarre combination!

Most often than not weight and wrong eating patterns are a symptom of a problem that has nothing to do with the food itself. Sometimes we get lost in our inability to find effective ways of coping with our stressful life and emotional setbacks. Do you already get it where I am going? Yea, right! I am talking to you! I am talking about emotional eating! Do you remember the last time you felt overwhelmed? The last time that reality was way too much to bear? Do you remember avoiding the hurt by eating huge amounts of food? Do you remember drowning those feelings in junk food? Don’t look aside! I know you recognized yourself! Till when are you going to run away from your problems? When are you gonna face them and leave them behind?
Didn’t you realize that by filling the emotional emptiness with food is only digging you deeper? You are burring yourself alive!

I know that emptiness can be both a physical sensation and an emotion. I know that it’s difficult to describe something when it’s absent. I know that when the emotions start knocking in your head, you loose control. You want that noise reminding you of your failures, your loneliness, your perfectionism to go away. You want to kick them out of your head! You don’t care how they will be gone, as long as they are not there! Thus, you do the easiest things- reach out for food! But look at me and listen! That is not the answer to your problems!

When you feel this emptiness, these negative feelings overtaking you…just wait. Let them roll around and settle in your mind, heart or body! Face it! What scares you about it? Why do you feel so weak? Answer these question and you will find the strength to fight it! When you binge ask yourself “Why am I doing it?”; “What am I trying to avoid?” I know that when the devil in your head is pushing you to compulsive overeating it is hard to think reasonable- but give it a try. You will fail the first time, the second time, but finally the fear you are hiding will understand that you are not a doll. It can’t break you down!

When you feel these emotions creeping in your mind, stay away from food. Just go outside for a walk. It is just a matter of taking your mind somewhere else, where it will feel comfort. Call a friend that knows about your problem- just talk over it, and the troubles will fall from your shoulders. Find another outlet. Find something you enjoy doing- maybe painting? Reading? Or something else! Just find what it is and do it when you feel the urge.
I know it is a long road to travel. But do not give in to emotional setbacks. Instead- WELCOME THEM! Welcome them as an opportunity to fill the emptiness with the best that your life has to offer!

You are more than a number!

Always remember- YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Today what I wanna talk about is THE SCALE! And hold on! I bet that when you hear that word, the adrenaline starts rushing through your veins, you feel the butterflies in your stomach and the fear of that useless object starts overtaking you!

It is so sad to see that so many women and obviously even men measuring their attractiveness through what the numbers on the scale show! I feel perplexed how to explain how useless the numbers on the scales are,so  I turned for help to my friend wikipedia and what it says is: “weight is the name given to the force on an object due to gravity.” So you are trying to convince me that measuring how gravity affects your body could be comparable to the way you see yourself, to how attractive you will feel and how sexy others think you are? Hm…doesn’t sound with much authenticity to me!

Let’s look at it that way. The gravity on Jupiter is about ten times stronger than the gravity on Earth. That means that if you go there you will weigh a lot more than you will weigh now. Does that make you look fatter? Feel less sexy? Makes you less attractive?? NO! Just because gravity affects you in different way on Jupiter, that doesn’t make you look worse! Then let’s move on to the Moon! There gravity is 5/6 less than it is on Earth. So iuhuuuuu you will be a lot lighter! Does that rise your self-esteem? Does it make you feel better? Well, it shouldn’t! You will look just the same way as you look now. So did you see, how you could weigh yourself, and the scale could show three different weights and you’d still look the same?

You are more than a number- YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

I hope that is enough to convince you that the numbers on the scale, are not relevant to your attractiveness. Nobody cares how much you weigh. People perceive objects by the way they look. When you meet somebody, they won’t carry a scale with them. They won’t ask you to step on the scale, see the numbers and according to them decide if you are worth being their friend or not!

I read an article that gave me some things to think about. It was said how in Playboy you get all the measuremeants of the models beside their weight! And why do you think it is that way? Because nobody cares. These girls are hot no matter how much they weigh because proportions are more important for the way others perceive you! That is why if you want to keep track on your body composition, it is way better to grab a meter and take your measures, instead of ruining your mind with the useless numbers on the stupid scale!

Think about people with chicken legs and big bellies. And now imagine a fit, strong person. Both of them might weigh the same, but do they look the same? NO! I wouldn’t care how much they weigh! I’d just admire the second one and encourage the first one to get his nutrition right and start lifting some weights!

The numbers on the scale do not matter! It is just a trick of the marketing world. It is just a way of the industry to get in your head and make you feel bad, so you will use all their pills, foods, creams and other bullcraps to shape yourbody. But it won’t happen.You are not a piece of clay- you can’t be designed to look in certain way! Just take that wrong invention of humans-the scale…put it in a box, somewhere in the closet and forget about its existance. Live your life and enjoy it! And make sure that you never compare your attractiveness to some useless numbers!Remember- YOU ARE MORE THAN A NUMBER-YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!

The mirror in your head…the skelleton in your closet!

The mirror in your head- the false image

Psychology sience teaches us that there are four ways in which people perceive themselves- first, the way they see themselves; second the way they want to be; third-the way other see them and forth, the way they want others to see them. That’s way too much,ain’t it? Or maybe you do not care that much, and you do not see yourself through all four images? Lucky you! I know about people that are literally dying to satisfy all these expectations and come as close as possible to the perfect image in their own opinion and in other’s people opinion, sometimes even go further and self-destroy themselves!

But as you might guess that can be pretty hard. There are close to 7 billion people in the world. All of them have their own view of the perfect image and it is rediculous to think that you could sclupt yourself according to everybody’s expectations. Or so I thought… but  people I mentioned, bet on their lives that you could. And who are they? Just ordinary people like us, the difference is just in the way they see themselves. They are so lost in the higly demanding world, in all the information and expectations that are poured on us daily, that they pretty much twist their image, what they truely are, and consider themselves never good enough or beautiful enough. And let’s take the pressure off and finally reveal who they are!…Some call them anorexic, others say they are bulimic…but what they truely are, is beautiful women and sometimes boys that lost control over their lives, over what they truely loved and wanted to be, and started slaving some fashion trends, started living according to other people expectations, left behind their passion and tried to follow somebody’s else passion…and all these things just to satisfy the image that others expected, to finally reach the point where everything just broke down, and they neither satisfied others nor themselves…to finally step on the road to self-destruction.

And let me tell you that road is long, full of traps, torturing and discouraging! The road is so exhausting-it drains all your strength, leaving you there surrounded by people wanting to help you get back up, but in the same time making you feel the heartbreaking solitude, being chained in your own thoughts…being the prisoner of your own thoughts and twisted mind. Eating disorders are diseases of silence.  You are  silently screaming for something-help, attention, love, escape, understanding . You are always looking to fill different voids, but you never truly ask for what you need. Instead you bury your desires under layers of insecurity, fear and self-hate.And how do I know it? I’ve seen it a couple times. And the sight is hearbreaking- to see the one you love, waste the beautiful personality they have, in the mere goal of perfection. Some of the cases I witnessed had a fatal ending…but luckily others had a happy ending. The eating disorder becomes their sole companion. It is the thing that makes them strong, so they don’t need anything, don’t want anything and don’t feel anything!. It is their cape of invisibility. Feeling like they have control over life but actually never getting the control they long for so bad. It is a struggle with the “ghost” that has haunted your insecure soul. It is a fight so tough.  It takes long to find the courage, to stand up, rip that ghost out of yourself and look it in the eyes. To find  the will to light the desire in your heart, to live again, to feel again, and to be yourself again! It takes a long time to take control of your thoughts again, and make your thoughts be your slaves…not you the slave of your thoughts!

The image in the mirror, doesn't always reflect reality!

The disorder makes you feel weak and drained. You come to the point where your life becomes bigger than you could handle…where human doing, is not human being! You open the closet, take the dress that would suit more a 5 year girl, not a 20 year old women…but your hands are so limp…you drop the dress and as it falls on the ground you hear the faint rattle of bones as the skeleton you’ve zipped on the hanger is suddenly realeased.That right there is the moment when you decide if you are gonna pick yourself up and fill your “empty” body with some live…or you are gonna give in to the image that the mirror in your head reflects…and that is when there is no turning back!

Don’t waste who you are for the mere goal of perfection. Life won’t change as you loose weight! It won’t get easier! People won’t become better! You will always have to live with yourself, and it is to your best interest to see that you have good company- a clean, honest, smart, beautiful, generous, magnanimous companion! Break the mirror in your head, and see yourself as you truly are! “The words “ I am” are potent words…be carefully what you hitch them to. The thing you are claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you!”. Make sure that what you claim yourself to be, won’t come back and destroy you!